I need to say thank you about the money in the envelope that you gave me 2 weeks ago. I put that money together with my Wyndham check so I could help people that were in the flood in my city (Oaxaca). So my niece is buying groceries for the people that are hungry there (Maria Guadelupe). Thank you so much for your help!

I couldn't find anyone to give my $5 to for a few weeks, but after a while I finally saw a guy on the side of the street with a cardboard sign. I've found that generosity is harder when it's intentional.

I got $20 out of the boot that one time. My first thought was to take this girl from work to Sorrento's for Chicken Jerusalem - seriously, that stuff is SO good! I never even heard of it until recently ... but I digress. Anyway I told her about my plan and even reminded her once or twice after that. She said it sounded good but kept getting too busy to remember to call and firm up to actually do this. Meanwhile, Travis gave me no end of grief about how long it was taking me to pass it on. One day I scribbled down some notes about what was going on in my head. I hope to type them into this text, if I haven't already lost them - it's been a while.

* It's hard to love like God
       ($20)
* Who deserves it?
* What/how do I deserve?
* Drop it on the street?
* Paper clipped to bulletin?
* No, personal - has to be
* Next who asks
    bum on corner?
            or
    Has to ask directly?
* setting conditions - who am I?
* God help me


"Ask and ye shall recieve."             -The Bible
(Travis wrote this when I showed him my list...)

I prayed about it right then - with words and everything, but then I just let it go. I'd think of it now and then, but never in any meaningful sense. I just trusted that God would send someone my way. This sounds kind of like a cop-out, even to me - maybe because it kind of was? Oooh - that's not a nice thought, but there it is ... and call it what you want to call it, I just didn't beat myself up about it.

A few days later, I was messing with my hands-free set waiting to turn left into Walmart off Trans Mountain. Out of the corner of my eye I saw somebody standing in the median, like so many others day after day, holding a bucket & I just barely heard her saying something that I couldn't make out. I didn't even care what she was saying, I just shook my head 'no' and kept rummaging around in my console. She moved on down the line of cars in the turn lane behind me.

Then, by the grace of God, I remembered the $20 bill. See, the reason I was getting my hands-free set was so I could call Travis. I was thinking of what we could talk about, and in my mind I could hear him asking me if I'd given away my $20 yet. Then my big fat mind said oh, here's the answer to my prayer, and I didn't even recognize it! Then I thought no the light will change before I can get her attention and get her back here, so who else can I give it to?

Who should I be looking for?

Oh pu-leez ... duh.

I rolled down my window and waved at her. She saw me and came back to my car. I dropped the bill in her bucket. I asked her what she was collecting money for. Simultaneously, she thanked me in Spanish so I asked her again in Spanish. She said it was for homeless women & children (mujeres y niños sin hogar) just as the light was turning green and I pulled away.

When I got home, I made another list of questions:

     Was she for real? What will happen w/ that money - where will it end up?

     Why do I care?

     How did I get the money?

     Didn't I just give it back?

     Let God be God.

When we were charged with giving the money we had in our envelope away to those in need I had no idea what to do with it so I knew I should just pray and ask God what he wanted me to do with it. I didn't get any answer so I knew it was going to be up to me to figure it out. I hung on to the money for three weeks before I finally decided exactly what I was going to do.

I've been stationed at Ft. Hood for two weeks now and just two days ago as I was enjoying the four day weekend, sitting in my room, the cleaning lady came to see what I needed and I let her in to do her thing. I sat back down at the laptop to continue watching the movie I had rented and while I sat there, I just kept thinking how in her work it must be a totally thankless job and that she probably didn't get paid much to make my room beautiful everyday. I remembered back to jobs that I had where I worked really hard for little pay and a lot of demand. I was then convicted that I hadn't been tipping for her services and thought that a lot of other people in the hotel might not be tipping either. It was then that she had left the room so I just went out to her with half of the money that was in the envelope and gave it to her telling her that she was blessed and Jesus loved her very much. She got a huge smile on her face and said thank you with sincerity. I know I touched her heart because that moment had touched mine. I realized that I had been making the excercise way too complicated and giving is not that difficult because what we have is not ours to begin with but the Lord's. Just in that simple act of kindness I also know that it touched the Father's heart and he was pleased.

The next day, a different cleaning lady came and I was so excited to give her the other half of the money from the envelope. I told her the same thing as the first cleaning lady but it wasn't as earnest of an exchange as before. But none the less, it was within the will of God and I realized that doing God's will is not going to be a dynamic experience everytime. This is something that I knew but had forgotten or rather just wished that everytime I did something for God it would be outstanding but the Kingdom of God is not an economy that works for my favor but his. And I am still learning this among a multitude of other things but he still gives me the knowledge to grow and learn.

My envelope story started with a lot of prayer as I didn't want to give to someone I knew, as I did not want an "association" (at this time).

After a trip during the week to Kmart, I was putting my cart back & a young man simply asked if I could help him out. Though he said he & his wife came in town to attend her dad's funeral & didn't have money to get back, the story didn't matter to me. I knew this was the person.

As I handed him the envelope I said our church had a mission to take an envelope from the offering & give it to someone. I said "God bless you!" & smiled. He looked very surprised, smiled & said "God bless you" back. Indeed I was!

When I took the envelope out of the boot, I was not suprised to find a $100 bill contained within. As Reef told us what we were to do, and of the amounts in the envelopes ie. $5, $10, $20, $100 etc. I instinctively knew that God would bless and challenge me to the max. I then felt the Spirit move and knew what to expect even before I had taken the envelope from the boot. Sure enough, I hit the jackpot, a $100 bill. Too bad we could not keep it for ourselves, or simply give it back to the church I thought.

Now the challenging part, what to do? Should it be shared in lump sum, or split into smaller portions and spread it around? I could not find a legitimate recipient easily coming to mind (beside myself). This only made the challenge greater.

Who was "legitimate" and who was I to decide? Should I just give it to the first person I encountered, or give it to a charity and let them deal with it? Either way, I knew this was part of God's lesson for me and not to run away seeking the quickest method. "To whom much is given, much is required," I thought and I could not be foolish with God's money. This only made me think more and more about what to do.

Not having God's, mind I decided to pray and wait to see what the Spirit would bring into my life. Normally on any given day multiple opportunities would arise, but this was not the present case.

I told you before, I "instinctively" knew what to expect as pastor Reef gave us our specific instructions on the envelopes. I knew this would be part of the whole experience and would cause me to contemplate many of the lessons presented in the Bible.

For example, I know all people have value to God, that God is merciful, and His Grace is truly 'a gift,' and it is better to give than receive, and not merely bless those who bless us expecting something in return. And let's not forget the story abut the ten talents and the man who refused to multiply what God had given him.

Still knowing all this what should I do? Why could I have not pulled the envelope with $5 dollars and just given it to the first person I saw at the traffic light and been done I thought? Time, Talent, and Treasure, God's plan is often not convenient nor quick, oh...brother where have I heard that before???

I also knew instinctively that part of this experience went way beyond simply giving money to people in need and had a lot to do with human interaction and restoring HOPE and demonstrating acts of KINDNESS to other people in the form of "a Gift" to let them know someone cares about them.

I believe this experience was to help us see the importance of reaching out to others and seeing beyond our own immediate needs. As Reef said in his recent sermon many of us may be "Hanging On" to our resouces more then ever before due to uncertanty in our economic future and what's happening on the planet today. I know I am!!! I find myself watching every dollar spent nowadays, let's be real $100 doesn't go very far today.

This is why I say that this lesson was a good thing regardless of the dollar amounts given by everyone to simply help us to reach out to others we might not normally do otherwise. I know it is good to give in faith,beyond our tithes and that which is convienient but at the same time, that $100 is needed and would be consumed instantaneously in my own personal budget and debts.

I know I have been much more cautious lately with money and it often bothers me; I simply don't have extra to give. God knows my normally generous nature and the pressure I've faced lately and the frustration of not being able to give more to others than I would like. This is why I feel I hit the "Jackpot" and knew before I even took the envelope from the boot that it would contain the "Maximum" amount possible allowing me to give in a special way.

God knows us, our motivations, and how we each fit into his greater plan beyond our own understanding. That is why I say THANK YOU FATHER for the opportunity to share with others and to understand your unconditional love beyond my normal ability.

So what did I finally do with the $100 bill?

I broke it into $10's and hit the streets of downtown. I said before that I didn't like the idea of determining who was "legitimate" and that whole mental distress it caused, but I drove around for quite a while with open eyes and looking for where the spirit lead me and those who crossed my path.

The following are some examples of what I saw and did. Some people I spoke to at length and others were more reluctant with the interaction thinking it was a trick, joke or abnormal for stranger to stop their car at random and approach them.

#1 I saw a young man struggling and pushing his mother up hill in a wheelchair on Mesa St. (the steep part below the hospitals). They had all their personal belongings and some blankets piled in her lap. I turned around and parked in a parking lot ahead of them and waited for them to approach. As tight as money is for me, I still have transportation, my mom is healthy, I have roof over my head. This situation could not be faked, they were "legitimate" and even I had no doubt. I would not want to be in their position.

When I approached them, I asked if the were "on the streets" reluctantly they said yes with embarrassment. I didn't ask any further questions handing them the money with the words "God Bless You" and began to move away. Both of them smiled with surprise and delight and said Thank you !

#2 Next I spotted an elderly man with a small dog scrounging for cigarette butts along the sidewalk. I turned around as he headed down an alley to follow him. When I caught up to him he was head down digging in a dumpster. I tapped him on the shoulder and handed him the money as he looked up to see me. Neither of us said anything he smiled and nodded his head as to thank me and proceeded to move along out of the alley.

#3 A man named Jimmy who was sitting in front of the bank with his bedroll and possessions. At first I wasn't sure if he was "on the streets" or not, he seemed well organized and possibly just waiting for someone as he sat in the sun. I did not want to insult him. I parked my car and walked towards the corner where he was sitting. When I got close to him I stopped and asked him how he was doing? He replied "OK... I guess." I asked if he was on the streets, he replied he was, but that it was alright he said as he quoted scripture saying "Foxes have dens and Birds have nests, yet the Son of Man has no place to lay his head." He said this with a certain smile and expression not quite sure if I would catch the meaning. I did and we spoke longer.

I asked him where he was from and where he was going? He said he was trying to get to Tucson where his dad was and planned on staying there as soon as he could. He told me he had multiple health problems and just got out of the hospital with bronchitis. He said he was an ex-alcoholic and musician and he was happy to be sober for 13 years. He said was ex-military and could get assistance when he got back to Arizona. He told me of working and staying in the local homeless shelter but that his transient existance was to hard to bear physically anymore and he wanted to go home to a stable place.

When I first walked up to him he had his eyes closed and when I asked him what he was doing he said "praying". He told me that he didn't like the whole "panhandling" thing and wasn't sure what he was going to do. He said that he knew God would provide, yet he was low on faith. He told me that my being there and the gift was the answer he needed and I had reassured his and faith. I don't think he was faking it.

#4 An old crusty guy sleeping on a bench at the W.W.Vet's park across from the city-county building. No names, no small talk just a look of suprise as I nudged him to awake and take the money. At first he gruffly pushed me away until he realised what was in my hand. I said God Bless You as I moved along. I continued my walk and when I came back his way the second time he was gone.

#5 A middle aged man with crutches and a cardboard sign saying "anything you can ." I stopped an engaged him as I stood along the sidewalk. He seemed more like seasoned panhandler with a scam.

I was determined to not judge his motives and sincerity but rather leave that to God and give to his request. He could tell that I was skeptical as I stared at him waiting for him to speak. I'm sure he knew I was somewhat "streetsmart" as he was cautious as he asked if I could spare any change.

Let the games begin. "Any Change..???" I replied with obvious mistrust and sarcasm. The man knew I was going to be a difficult sell as he replied all I need is 11 cents. "11 cents..!!" I replied, what could you possibly get with 11 cents..? I asked. (I told you I was on to this guy, but I would not judge simply give as he had requested. Besides I already know the scam, you don't ask the person for the whole amount, you tell them you have most of it and you need only that small contribution on their part to complete your request. Psycologically this helps force the unsuspecting person into compliance of the origial request, one by sharing the burden, and two by guilt-tripping them into believing that the request is close to completion with only the smallest amount of action needed on their part. Remember, I've seen this game before.)

My next move was to shake my head No! in apparent disgust and mistrust presenting him the idea I would not comply with his request to spare even a megar 11 cents.

His move. He then came at it again sensing I might be questioning his motives and trustworthiness, he then said "I'll be honest, look man I'm going to buy beer with it, the beer cost $1 and 7 cents, I already have 96 cents and all I need is 11 cents can you help me? Again, being aware of this type of scam I executed my next move. I continued to stand there blocking up the sidewalk with a stupid look on my face pretending to think it over while I made him wait.

Remember this a game and as much as he wants to he can not give in and simply walk away. I moved in even closer between him and his other buddies sitting there watching this whole charade unfold. At this point I begin to rummage around and dig for change in my pocket. Pulling out a handful of change worth several dollars for everyone to see I fumbled about while I painstakingly seperated out exactly 11 cents as he requested.

Everyone watching was frozen still as I stingily extended my hand towards his and gave him the change with a look of discust and forced compliance. You should have seen the look on his face. He was bewildered, he still wasn't sure if I could truly be that stupid or if I was just playing games with him all along. He politely said thank you and smiled. He then expectd me to move along my way as most people would normally do. I didn't, I just continued to stand there with him and his buddies with a stupid look on my face making them all most uncomfortable.

At this point I could not take it any longer besides I had other things to do than play games with strangers on the street. I then quickly reached into my other pocket and hit him with the $10 spot. He started laughing, then collapsed backwards in disbelief shaking his head as his buddies laughed at what they had just seen.

He knew he'd been had and asked me "you're not from around here are you?" I then smiled at him and said that's not important... "God Bless You" as I turned and walked away. I alredy knew that this was a game at which I could not lose, and I might as well have some fun while I was at it. Besides it wasn't my money anyway.

Oh my gosh! Have I got a story for all! On Monday, Oct. 25th, 2010, the 1st day on the job, in the strip mall where Vineyard Crossroads is located, We (me, Staci and the kids), ran into a very interesting homeless man. He was sleeping under the awning in the front by the daycare center. I approached him, and said, "Brother, are you okay?" He opened his eyes and said, "Yeah, just give me a few minutes and I'll be out of your way."

I then introduced myself, Staci and the kids, then asked him his name. He said, "My name is Charles Perry." He was an older black man in his late 50's or early 60's. Before I handed him the contents of the Envelope, I asked him a couple of other questions. I kept the kids out of school because it was only a half day and I wasn't driving all the way back to Chaparral to get them, then driving back to El Paso!

I asked him, "Why are you in this situation, being homeless?" He said, "20 years ago, he helped Pastor a church somewhere in southern Texas, when Jesus came down in his "Flying Saucer" and "Raptured" the church!" "There was so many bad things going on in my church, and that's why Jesus did that." He says, "Jesus is 12 foot tall, with a round face and short hair." Also, that the people who wrote the King James Bible changed the way Jesus really looked to make him look better!

He asked me "Do you know the guy who was crucified next to Jesus?" I said. "No." He says his name is Joe Montoya. That he is 8 feet tall, with a round face, big belly and yellow skin! His nick name was "Yellow Joe and he is 8 feet tall!" He went on to tell us that when we die, that our Souls just float around in the sky while waiting on Jesus to come back, in his flying saucer, to pick us up and take us back to his "Planet"! After we get back to the planet, Jesus changes our Souls back to babies waiting to be "Born Again." He says we get recycled over and over again.

WOW! Now I know how Cults get started! If you are, "Open Minded" enough to believe this kind of stuff? He kept rambling on when I interupted him with my next question. I asked him, "When was the last time you ate something?" He said, "About 2 days ago?" So I handed him the envelope. He said, "Thank you!" and proceeded to head towards the 7-11 across the street to get him some coffee. While walking towards to store, he continued to tell more of his story, getting louder the further he got away from us. I guess he was excited that someone was interested in his stories?

This radical giving sure did make me happy, but I am sure by now that you know that I am a giver, and may I say it was very hard TO TAKE that envelope on Sunday (everything hesitated), the only thing that made it ok was that I got to give it away -- even though we needed it. AND I understand the big picture of your reasoning behind it, I believe it was a God given idea! (that in itself is a testimony, It reminds me kind of my own little version of testimony here. I have always looked at myself as an extremist, not a perfectionist but an extremist. Now I really do like the term RADICAL giver! hum? (IT MAKES ME SMILE)

I have to confess that I am one in the last 3 months my giving to God had gone down to almost nothing, who am I kidding last month it was none. You know me I have always pretty much been a radical giver -- to the point that some people would shake their heads at me when and if they found out how much. Well 3 months ago Charlotte and Haeleah arrived back home, and I cannot express what a relief, gratitude I feel,a blessing, and answered prayers that was, but it took a toll on my finances.

I must go back at least 2 yrs when I was sinking financially (with just me here) and I had turned my eyes back to Jesus. I believe how my finance were doing good before they arrived was 2 yrs. ago when watching ministers on TV, and I wanted to give but I was selling my furniture on Craig's list to have enough money to feed myself, let along anybody else. And of course I have always been a radical giver so when I go through a slump, I feel that, I have a pass because somewhere in the past and somewhere in the future I have and will give above and beyond. lol (just my reasoning, and God understands) so watching TV and feeling guilty about not giving, I believe He spoke to me and told me to start little and watch it grow. I believe because I know that HE is true to this because I have passed this way several time in my adult life. So I started giving $1, $2, 3, 4, 5 to the beggars on the street corners. Buying bottled water at convenient store and passing them out to them during the hot months when I stopped at a light, coffee during the cold.. or sometimes even a meal. Not too long I was getting back on my feet, and not digging. When I find money all over my house (pennies, dimes, nickels, quarters) I say it is money from heaven and thank the Lord, Char has grown up with that, and when that stopped showing up I knew something was extremely wrong, God always leaves money around my house!).

Then I was able to start sending some to the ministry on TV that was feeding me spiritually. Then after time went by 1 year or so and doing ok, I believe the Lord changed my heart and I found myself sitting there at Crossroads spite how I protested to never be involved with a church again. I always have believed in Christ but a church, had my fill of them. (well that is another or different testimony you probably don't want to read through lol)

On with the story, I had enough money to help when Charlotte and Haeleah come home I was so thankful but my money got tight. I was very embarrassed of myself when the boot went by and I had nothing to put in. I had forget the check at home after pay day, and then by time next Sunday came along the bills would be paid, food on the table and no money to give. I would tell God don't worry it will turn around and I will give above and beyond again, I will make it up to you, if I'm not still to the good on it over all, lol what we tell our self's. lol The Lord knows that I am a giver and what you call a radical giver (I think).

But when you said I had to take your money, my oh my. Let's get radical. This is what the answer I had for it. I prayed for a couple of days about it and I felt good, the Lord gave me an envelope with $50.00 in it(weird - Valentine’s Day - get it -- same). and it was the right amount when I purchased my idea, it came to $49.83 it was very plentiful- radically done!! I went to Albertsons and got:

1 pk of Chocolate Muffins 4 ea in it
1 pk of Blue Berry Muffins 4 ea in it
1 pk of Cream Cheese Muffins 4 ea in it
1 pk Donut holes 13.5 oz
1 pk of assorted Brittles 25 oz
    Cashew Brittle
    Peppermint Bark
    Almond Bark
1 pk of Peanut Brittle 26 oz
1 pk of assorted types of brownies 26 oz
(if there is any one that knows what the first thing we do when we get to heaven it's me and that is EAT!!! LOLOL)

Left them sealed for safety and security reasons, got a little thank you card, blank inside and I went to Fire station #21(Dyer & Trans Mt.) which when Charlotte and I was arriving they were parking the truck--SO THEY WERE THERE!!! (fretted all week over that and always said a little prayer till next fretting happened-- prayers answered yay!!) They invited us in, gave us a tour of the House, showed us every crack and nanny lol. Talked and felt very welcomed there! I asked how many there was on each shift and there is 5- 2 paramedic's and 3 on the truck, I believe that is what he said I was trying to figure to see if there was enough and there was, enough for all three shifts.

On Sunday, Judy, Felicia and myself all took envelopes out of the boot. Judy got a $50, Felicia an I each got a $20. Thinking about the sermon and "Radically" blessing someone, we decided to pool the three small amounts into a "Radical" blessing. We all started looking around for a need. Although we are in tough times, we wanted to bless someone, yet not enable dangerous lifestyles such as drug or alcohol addictions and trusted that God would place someone in our path that truly needed a Blessing.

Today when I visited my mother she had told me that her neighbor, Maricela, an older widowed woman of limited means had just had her purse stolen and lost all her ID, cash and a debit card. She said that because she doesn't have ID it will take about a week for her to gain access to the little bit of money she had left in the bank and that her son already helps her as much as he can with her rent each month and she didn't know what she was going to do. My mother offered to help but she said she would try to get by with what she had. (Sometimes a persons pride gets in the way of their need, I guess.)

I called Judy to see if she had passed along the blessing to someone and she said not yet, so I told her I would pass the blessing on to my mom's neighbor. My mother and I went next door and I told Maricela, "this is going to sound weird to you, because it sounded weird to me, but last Sunday, my church, Vinyard Crossroads, had all its congregation take envelopes with money out of our offerings with the instructions that we couldn't keep the money, we couldn't give it back to the church and we had to bless someone with it." I told her that my mother told me what had happened to her and I felt that she could use a blessing right now and handed her $100 Bill (OK, I couldn't help but kick in a little extra).

The look of joy and relief that came over her was so profound she could hardly speak and gave my mother a big hug and said thank you so much. I told her there was no need to thank me, it was a blesing from God, I was merely the courier. I couldn't help but brag on how our little church in a converted warehouse believes in community outreach and blessing members of the community. I told her of our Wednesday food ministry and that part of our mission is to bless others.

It was so amazing to watch the Ruach Kodesh (Holy Spirit) come over someone, especially when after an act like having something stolen from you placing you in a severe hardship makes it so easy to question the goodness in mankind and the grace of God. Ha Satan (literally, the Adversary in Hebrew) tries so hard to mask the grace of God and I believe this time, the grace of God won.

 

I selected an envelope from the boot and put it into my pocket. I prayed and asked God to bring someone to mind this week to which I can give the cash inside the envelope. Later that day I opened it and saw it was a ten dollar bill. I put it in my purse and started my week.

On Tuesday morning I thought of the two guys at the soccer park who are homeless and cook their dinner in the park each evening. I have observed them and their dutiful industriousness in gathering fire wood from the desert to fuel their fire pit, and their cyclical efforts to organize and continually re-organize the contents of their highly used and appreciated minivan. I first met them about a month ago when they were parked next to me and they apologized for their door being opened and in my way. He stopped what he was doing and moved his van. I overheard them talking, questioning each other if they had enough fuel to get to Las Cruces for their next job. The short pudgy one then came around and asked me in a jovial way if I could give them some cash to get gas to drive to Las Cruces. I looked in my purse and gave them $10 for fuel. He was thrilled and thanked me profusely. I introduced myself and since then we have exchanged greetings.

Tuesday at lunch Chris called me and told me of his morning. He said in passing that he was at the gas station getting gas and this guy approached him and asked for cash. He told me people are always asking him for money and lately he has just started saying no. This time was no different and he told the guy that he did not have anything for him. After he finished at the pump, Chris looked up and saw the guy with his friend and felt God’s compassion for him, so he walked over and said, "I am sorry, people approach me all the time and ask for money, and I have just gotten to the point that I do not think it will have a good effect so I do not give them anything." The guy said he understood, and Chris gave him some cash and wished them well. The guy was thrilled and very appreciative, and told Chris that he could now get to work. I told Chris that what he did was in line with your sermon and the "radical Generosity project" for the week, and I told him about the envelope and how you asked each person to give it out this week.

Tuesday night at the soccer field I parked next to the "park cook" guy’s minivan and I took out the envelope in preparation to give it to them. Later on I saw the pudgy guy and told him of what our Pastor had talked about on Sunday and that he gave out envelopes of cash to give to someone this week. I said that I thought of him and his friend and told him there was $10 in the envelope and gave it to him. He was smiling and said he thought that was a great idea, and said he believes in God and His goodness. He said he and his friend have work they do and try to help out the other "vagrant" guys in the area. He said he had just bought some day old pork chops and invited me to have one once they were cooked. We shook hands and both went on our way. As night was falling during practice I could smell the pork chops cooking and smiled.

Tuesday night after practice, Chris and I were in the kitchen and I told him about the guys at the soccer park, described them to him and that I gave them the envelope and ten dollars. Chris said, "Do they have a light colored mini van and was the white guy pudgy and missing teeth?" I said yes, and asked if he had seen them at the soccer park before possibly grilling. He said no, but that they were the two guys that he had given money to at the gas station that afternoon.